When will I start feeling like myself again after I have had a newborn baby?

Right now, it probably feels like your old self packed up and left somewhere between labour and the fifth night feed.

But she hasn’t gone, she’s just waiting beneath the surface while you adjust to the biggest transformation of your life.

With time (and a bit more sleep), she’ll start to peek through again, stronger and softer than before.

Because the postpartum haze is a lot more than just tiredness. It’s a full-body, full-heart transformation that no one really prepares you for.

You’ve just grown and birthed a whole human. Your hormones are in freefall, your body feels foreign, and your days are stitched together by feeds, nappy changes, and wondering when you last drank water.

Add to that the pressure to “enjoy every moment” and “bounce back”, and it’s no wonder so many new mums feel lost in the fog.

But you’re not broken. You’re not failing. And you’re definitely not alone.

That sense of “I don’t recognise myself anymore”? is completely normal.

It’s not a sign that something’s wrong, it’s proof that you’re evolving.

Because motherhood doesn’t erase who you are. It weaves a new version of you. One who cries at nappy ads, celebrates a ten-minute nap like it’s a weekend away, and knows 47 ways to rock a pram one-handed while eating toast over the sink.

Still, knowing it’s normal doesn’t always make it feel easier.

So here’s some gentle advice I’ve gathered from hundreds of mums I’ve photographed over the years, women who walked into my studio feeling just like you do now.

Give yourself permission to grieve the “old” you.

It’s okay to miss the version of you who slept through the night, made spontaneous plans, or had energy to do more than just survive the day.

Grief doesn’t always come from loss. Sometimes it’s the ache of transition.

Missing who you were before motherhood doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby with every fibre of your being. It means you’re human.

It means you’re processing a huge identity shift. When you allow yourself to feel that grief instead of pushing it down, you create space to get to know the new version of you - the one who’s still here, growing and evolving in real time.

Lower the bar. Then lower it again.

Motherhood is not a performance. There’s no gold star for who gets the laundry folded fastest or who cooks from scratch every night.

In these early weeks and months, your only job is to nurture yourself and your baby.

If that means the house is messy, the emails wait, and dinner is toast for the third night in a row, so be it.

The world can pause while you heal. Every single thing you’re doing - feeding, rocking, soothing, simply existing - is enough.

The sooner you release the pressure to “do it all”, the sooner you’ll breathe a little easier.

Accept help (and ask for it).

There’s a myth that mothers are meant to do this alone.

Youve surely heard the saying "it takes a village" and these days our village can be so small, nearly non-existant.

But throughout history, women have raised babies in circles, supported by family, friends, and community.

You’re not weak for needing help. You’re wise for recognising that support is essential.

If someone offers to cook, clean, or cuddle the baby so you can nap or shower, say yes. And if no one offers, ask.

Letting people step in doesn’t mean you’re incapable. It means you understand that motherhood is too big a job to carry solo and you deserve rest and care just as much as your little one does.

Talk about how you feel.

So many mums carry heavy feelings in silence because they think they’re the only ones feeling them.

But you’re not.

Sharing your thoughts , whether with a partner, a friend, a health professional, or a support group can lighten the load in ways you might not expect.

Saying “I feel lost” or “I’m struggling” doesn’t make you less of a mother. It makes you a braver one. And the more we talk about the messy, complicated, beautiful reality of early motherhood, the less alone we all feel in it.

When It Might Be More Than Just Tiredness

While these feelings of fogginess, overwhelm, and identity-shift are very common, it’s also important to listen to yourself and recognise when things might be more than just “new mum tired.”

If you’re finding it hard to enjoy anything, struggling to bond with your baby, crying often without knowing why, or feeling hopeless, anxious, or like you’re not coping, those can be signs of postnatal depression or anxiety.

And there’s absolutely no shame in that. It’s more common than most people realise, and it’s not a reflection of your love or strength.

Reaching out for help, whether it’s talking to your GP, a psychologist, your child health nurse, or calling a support service like PANDA (1300 726 306) is one of the bravest, most loving things you can do for yourself and your baby.

You deserve support just as much as your little one does

Perhaps most importantly: be kind to yourself. Your body is healing. Your heart is stretching. Your whole identity is expanding. It’s okay if that feels disorienting - it’s meant to.

After 14 years as a professional newborn photographer in Brisbane, I meet mums every single week who feel exactly like this. They walk into my studio with messy buns and milk-stained tops, convinced they’re not “photo ready”. And then I show them what I see: strength. Devotion. Fierce, beautiful love.

My space is a no-pressure, comfy haven where you can simply show up as you are. No pretending. No expectations. Just you and your baby, soaking in the magic of this fleeting season. And often, when they see the images of tired eyes, full hearts and all, those same mums whisper, “Oh… there I am.”

That’s the quiet reminder I want for you too.

You’re still you.

Maybe softer around the edges. Maybe stronger than you ever imagined. But still you - and more.

And one day, when the fog lifts (and it will), you’ll look back and realise you didn’t disappear.

You were right there all along, becoming someone extraordinary.

FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHER BISBANE | NEWBORN PHOTOGRAPHER BRISBANE

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About the Author

Natarsha March is an award-winning Brisbane newborn, baby, and family photographer who specialises in creating timeless, heartfelt images that capture the love and connection between families. With years of experience and a passion for working with little ones, she’s known for her relaxed, stress-free sessions that result in beautifully natural photographs. Based in Bunya, Brisbane, Natarsha has helped countless families preserve their most precious moments, from the tiny details of a newborn to the joyful chaos of a growing family. If you're looking for a trusted photographer in Brisbane who values quality, safety, and genuine connection, Family Photography by Natarsha March is the perfect choice.